Rebellion and Gratitude: My Bat Mitzvah Portion Six Years Later

Six years ago, I read from Korach at my Bat Mitzvah. This portion is not a pleasant one and I did and do not enjoy re-reading it. It involves a bunch of people, led by Korach, starting a rebellion against Moses and it all results in a bunch of people getting swallowed into the earth because God wants to teach them a lesson. I'm not going to say that Korach, nor God was right in this situation; I know better than to wrap myself up in that debate, but I think the idea of challenging what is happening in the world and challenging leadership(to a certain extent) is an important thing to do.  We need to, at least occasionally, question what we are told by the ones who lead us, and to do this, we may have to risk ourselves for the rebellion--  I'm not expecting anyone to get swallowed up into the earth anytime soon, but you know what I mean.

On a more encouraging note, I have evolved a lot in terms of Judaism over the last six years. I improved my Hebrew through  seven weeks of immersion at camp. and then more so through a year of college hebrew. I planned four Youth Group services, and led countless others alongside my former cantor. I attended over 20 regional youth group events and even more temple youth group ones. I spent six more summers at camp(if you count the one that we are in the middle of).Judaism has saved my life over and over, from the singing of Od Yavo at my Israel Trip orientation in 8th grade after months of devastating friend drama to the arrival at every NFTY event.

When I planned to write this post, I had no idea that it would be so hard to express how thankful I am for the Jewish experiences that I have had since my Bat Mitzvah. I would like to extend my thanks to every single advisor in NFTY who hugged me when I was crying or taught me to play a song on guitar, and to my regional advisor who I hadn't met at the point of my Bat Mitzvah, but would change my life for the better in so many ways. To all of the clergypeople who have taught me tidbits of knowledge and served as sounding boards, thank you especially to Rabbi London who has been there for me since before my Bat Mitzvah, Cantor Luck who taught me  for my Bat Mitzvah and became my role model and teacher for the six years between my preparation for my Bat Mitzvah and my Confirmation year,  and thank you to Rabbi Winick who has been so incredibly supportive this past year. Thank you, BESSY, for becoming my forever home and teaching me that acceptance and social justice are two of the most important things in the world. Thank you to Hillel at Brandeis (I already have a whole post on this). Thank you to all of the random people who have made me smile and taught me that kindness is truly the most important thing. Faith is wonderful, but in my personal opinion, faith is nothing without community, and Judaism has given me that and all of the people and organizations I just mentioned have as well.

Lech L'cha: To A Place That I Will Show You

This is the D'var Torah that I gave tonight if you were not at Hillel dinner.

There are hundreds of things that people describe as “life changing experiences.” Any of you who can think back to your own college experience remember picking which incredible trip to Israel or social justice seminar that you were going to write about. I am very skeptical of life-changing moments. By no means am I saying that things in my life haven’t changed me over the years. But those life changing moments are not something that I recognized in the moment. They only appeared to me in retrospect. More on that in a second.

The Torah portion this week, lech l’cha, is incredibly fitting for Parents’ weekend. In this portion, God leads Abram to the land of Canaan, the land in which he will build his people. Also in this portion, Abram’s name is finally changed to Abraham. Lech Lcha, some of the first words in the parshah, can be translated in a few different ways. One of which is “go to yourself.” We are commanded, as Jews, to find ourselves through whatever path we may take.

As I start to construct my self in college, I’ve been thinking a lot about the people and moments that have made me the way I am. That made me think about backstroke flip turns. Backstroke flip turns require you holding your breath and estimating the placement of the wall. One of my coaches when I was a kid made us do them over and over and over, and I hated it. I would swallow water and bang my head on the wall (obviously not on purpose) until I was incredibly frustrated. The same coach pushed me off the diving blocks over and over until I was confident enough to jump off myself. I didn’t realize how much these lessons that I learned on the chlorine-coated deck really affected me until I looked back on them. I wouldn’t have taken as many risks if it hadn’t been for that one coach. He is the reason that I volunteer for so many things today and probably the reason that I’m standing up here. There is no doubt that he helped me to “go to myself.” Tonight, I’m asking all of you to  think  about those experiences which ed you to “lech lcha,” go to yourself. Shabbat Shalom.