Pain in the Present: Living History In Israel

The sun was shining in Tel Aviv, and the hard granite of the Trumpeldor cemetery was pressing into my bottom, but at that moment, every joint in my body ached, and my spine felt like someone was scalding it with a hot poker. We sat there, by the tomb of Arik Einstein, one of the most influential Israeli musicians in history, listening to one of his most famous songs, Uf Gozal, and I found myself crying behind my dark sunglasses. Here was a conflict between the past and the present.

The unfortunate truth about pain is that it requires in itself, a presence. When something hurts, it's like a notification on your phone that won't go away no matter how many times you press the clear button. You try to breathe through it, but it doesn't do anything. The worst part of pain like this is that you wonder whether you'll ever feel better again, but that's talking about the future, and I'll get there in a second.

Uf Gozal, which is about a bird leaving the nest, a metaphor for Israeli teenagers leaving home to serve in the army, is a song of the past and a song from my past. When I was in high school, I listened to this song over and over again. It wasn't because I resonated with the words; I don't think I knew what they meant. I resonated with the emotion contained within them. There's so much more to be said about the power of music and memory, but that's a different story. In that moment, feelings from the past and present overwhelmed me in that moment.

Half of me wanted so badly to focus on the melody of the song and the words of our tour guide, but every few seconds, the pain would reassert itself, essentially saying, "pay attention to me. I don't care abut what you're supposed to be thinking about; I am your present."

Israel is a place of living history. It's a place that combines past, present, and future, and so did that moment. Israel is a place where you can stroll down the streets of Jerusalem wearing Beats headphones. The present in that moment in the cemetery was a profoundly isolating experience, and the future was terrifying, but the past, at least in that moment, was comforting. The past can teach us something even with pain in the present, and even looking in retrospect. And I'm excited to keep on learning from it because I know that there is a future for me even when I don't feel like it.

By Holding Hands and Marching Together: A Jewish Case For Fighting For Justice

"What happened to this world? We just don't know anymore. What happened to this world? We just don't love anymore. Who gon' do it, if we don't do it?"

-Muddy Magnolias

Sitting in the sanctuary of my home synagogue listening to my cantor and an incredible guest singer belt out these words, I felt a strong call to action. It was something almost visceral. And I was reminded of the famous quote from Rabbi Hillel, "If I am not for myself who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?" and yet another quote from Pirkei Avot, "You are not obligated to complete the work, but nor are you free to desist from it." So what does that mean for all of us on January 14th of 2018? These quotes call us to recognize the urgency of the time we are living in, to stand up for one another, and to fight for justice. 

In his speech at Beth Emet Synagogue in Evanston, IL (my home synagogue) on January 13, 1958, five years before the I Have A Dream speech, citing to a common psychological principle of the day, MLK Jr. discussed the need to be "maladapted" to our surroundings. He said that we should not just go along with injustice, bigotry, hate, and hostility, but we should be uncomfortable with it. That's a call that still rings true today. I have generally been avoiding the news, but from the little I do hear, Trump has said something outrageously racist again, Kellyanne Conway is denying that the new tax plan disproportionately affects people in the lower tax brackets, and it is still common for employers to pay disabled workers or female workers less than one would pay a male worker. We cannot see these circumstances as normal, even though news like this comes out every single day. 

You may be saying, but the problems going on in the current political climate aren't directly affecting me; why would I take time out of my Saturday to go to this march? And to you I say this, Deuteronomy 10:19 reads, "You must love the stranger because you were strangers in the land of Egypt." Even if every person who is affected by the new tax code or the comments of our president is a stranger to you, as Jews, we still have a duty to protect and love. We still have a duty to stand up for the values that we were commanded to hold close to ourselves. 

So what does this have to with the Women's March Boston: The People Persist? This march is a way to answer the calls to action from Hillel and Pirkei Avot. It is a way to "love the stranger" and to "love our neighbors," both of which are core Jewish values. It is a tangible thing that many of us can do. It is a way to honor the Jewish value of Tikkun Olam, repairing the world, and the memory of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I wish I could be at the march, but I will be in Israel for a semester abroad (keep an eye on this blog for updates), and I'll be marching with you in spirit.

A Note on Shabbat: I cannot make a Jewish argument for going to the Women's March without recognizing that it is on Shabbat. From my perspective, participating in the march does not in itself violate the spirit of Shabbat, but I acknowledge that some Jews may feel differently. If this is you, the issues are still yours. Even if you choose to go to the next protest that falls on a Wednesday or support the cause with your dollars, you are still fulfilling all of the same values as those who are able to go to the march (The same goes for if you are not physically able to get to the march or you have a conflict on that day).

I leave you with a reading from the Miskan T'filah, the official prayerbook of the Reform movement:

"Standing on the parted shores of history

We still believe what we were taught

Before ever we stood at Sinai's foot, 

That wherever we go, it is eternally Egypt

There is a better place, a Promised Land

And the winding way to that promise passes through the wilderness

And there's no way to get from here to there

Except by joining hands and marching together."

New Years Resolutions 2018

I know it's been a long time since I updated this blog, and for that, I sincerely apologize, but the good news is, in the coming year, I will be publishing much much more, especially because I will be attempting to publish every week while I am in Israel this coming semester. These blog posts will be about anything I have found interesting in the week or really anything else, and I hope you will continue to read.

Now, onto my New Years Resolutions. I have a hard time with New Years Resolutions. I often feel like they are empty promises to myself that I never end up keeping, so this year, I'm going to make them public with the hope that being accountable to other people will help me to achieve my goals.

1. Drink 2 Bottles of Water a Day
I've been harking on and on about drinking water without doing it myself, so I figured, I might as well make a change. Water can help with headaches, muscle pain, and pretty much any physical ailment that you can think of, so why wouldn't I try to drink more of it. I'm also tracking this on habitica.com with the hope that it will make me more effective.

2. Write Something Every Day.
I've written about journaling before, and I just want to reiterate how much better it makes me feel. It's like having a friend to come home to at the end of the day, but that friend is always there and never judgmental.

3. Read 12 Books in 2018
I read maybe 2 books in 2017 that weren't for school, and I want to change that because I used to be someone who read a book a week. Now, I don't think I'm going to be able to read that much, but I am making my goal one book a month.

4. Practice Gratitude Every Day
There's been studies done that show that writing down three things that you're grateful for every day can make you happier. I'm trying that in 2018.

5. Cut Down on Using the Social Internet
Scrolling through social media makes me happy for about the first fifteen minutes that I'm doing it, but after that, it just makes me anxious and encourages me to compare myself to others, something that is definitely unhealthy, so I'm trying to cut back on that in 2018. We'll see how it goes.

What are your resolutions? Drop me a comment and let me know! Happy New Year!