Going home for this month, I had two goals: see friends/family/mentors who I wanted to stay in touch with and redecorate my room. I began this second objective by taking everything off my walls and throwing it on my floor. Then, I sat down and went through the pile and sorted it into three piles; things that I wanted to let go of but not all the way that would get put into a scrapbook, things that could get filed away because I might need them for future programs or classes, and things that got thrown out. I was surprised at how many of the things that were covering my walls had lost their significance. Either I had lost touch with the people in the pictures or the event no longer meant a ton to me.
And most of all, I had spent hours after fights with my mom, or bad report cards staring at all of those wall decorations, so the very items that were supposed to illicit pleasant memories, ended up with bad associations, so I took them off. The things that I wanted to keep, I put in the scrapbook where I can look at them when i want to live in the past, but I don't have to live there all the time. I finally organized all of those school papers and let go of the things that I was keeping for stupid reasons.
You wouldn't think that just taking some photos and quotes off your wall could be so incredibly freeing, but I feel like I have a fresh start just because there are no longer posters from 2010 on my wall. And in the process I got to relive all the happy memories and wash away the bad. I don't think I could have done this a year ago; it would have been too emotionally taxing to let go of things. This is a time of transition for me. I no longer completely live at my house, but I don't really live anywhere else either, so it was time for a change. I am in the present, accepting my past and incredibly excited for my future.
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